Change Your Perspective

Have you ever had a situation and you only thought of it from one angle until someone else showed you a different perspective? After talking with one of my cousin's the other day she gave me a completely different perspective of where Pat and I are currently. It's so hard to see the bigger picture when you're just a small piece in the picture itself and it typically takes a 3rd party to really show you a different perspective. I was watching the movie The Prince of Egypt the other day with the kids and there was a song where the guy talks about how one piece of thread within a woven rug doesn't understand it's design, but when you step back and see all the pieces woven together, it creates a beautiful design . The song starts at about 1:40.
Anyway, my cousin gave me this:
Isaiah 66:7-14
"Before she went into labor,
she had the baby.
Before the birth pangs hit,
she delivered a son.
Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?
Has anyone seen anything like this?
A country born in a day?
A nation born in a flash?
But Zion was barely in labor
when she had her babies!
Do I open the womb
and not deliver the baby?
Do I, the One who delivers babies,
shut the womb?

10-11"Rejoice, Jerusalem,
and all who love her, celebrate!
And all you who have shed tears over her,
join in the happy singing.
You newborns can satisfy yourselves
at her nurturing breasts.
Yes, delight yourselves and drink your fill
at her ample bosom."

12-13God's Message:

"I'll pour robust well-being into her like a river,
the glory of nations like a river in flood.
You'll nurse at her breasts,
nestle in her bosom,
and be bounced on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child,
so I'll comfort you.
You will be comforted in Jerusalem."

14-16You'll see all this and burst with joy
—you'll feel ten feet tall—
As it becomes apparent that God is on your side
and against his enemies.

This isn't talking about our exact situation obviously but it makes since in our circumstances. Basically what it's saying is that going through trials is like a woman in labor. It's painful and intense but you have to go through it in order to receive the blessing afterwards. Sometimes we're doing all we can and yet things still seem to be going rough. It's all part of the grand design.

This weekend

Well, I know you're all dying to know what our plans are for the weekend ;o) Tonight is laundry and cleaning (thankfully Pat already vacuumed!), tomorrow we are going to, hopefully, sleep in and then going to church tomorrow night. Sunday I'm working at church and then I have a senior portrait session! Should be a nice relaxing weekend.

On another note, a couple of weekends ago my mom and I participated in the Run for Mercy 5k and since we couldn't find the correct parking lot, we ended up walking an extra 2 miles! We had fun, I love spending time with my mom!

We have costumes for both kids and Declan's going to be Fireball Mario and Alaina is going to be Snow White. We are going to "Boo at the Zoo" next weekend, so hopefully Alaina isn't as grumpy.

Ever had one of those...

Years? It's been an interesting year for us. In March of this year Pat graduated college with his bachelor's degree, he also lost his job. In July, he got another job (both of us had been applying and looking like crazy the entire time). In August I got a job that I absolutely love and works perfectly with Declan's school schedule. If Alaina starts going to preschool it will work out perfectly with that as well. We'd only need childcare on Fridays! Harmonious Portraits (my photography business) has been picking up pace and I was also working up at church doing childcare for different events. Then, just in September, I was supposed to graduate with my bachelor's degree. My advisor forgot to mention that I still have 1 natural science class that I must take in order to complete my degree. To say I was devastated is an understatement.

In other news, Declan has finally started sounding words out and trying to read. He's doing really well in school academically, socially, he's "too talkative". I am so proud of him! He makes friends so easily and has his friends at school, church, and home and pretty much gets along with anyone. Alaina has been making strides, too. She now can recognize numbers 1-5 and we're working on her letters. The kids LOVE to be read to so we make a library trip at least once a week and usually walk out with about 10 books!

I came across the realization tonight that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start looking up. The pain of changing usually has to be less than that of the circumstances. I know that when this is all over and done with we will have something to share with others that are going through what we've been through.

Pity Party for one

I am grateful that my hope is in the Lord because today has just been "one of those days". I had a busy day at work, came home to a super messy house (my own doing from yesterday), a letter in the mail from Lindenwood saying that I can't graduate until I finish a natural science class. WHAT?!?! So apparently, I won't be getting a degree anytime soon. If I would have known I needed this class I could have included it with my two classes that I just finished. I was incredibly frustrated, on top of it we are trying to get on top financially and it just seems like it's one thing after another trying to keep us down. When I called my advisor about the letter he said, "Oh, didn't I mention that during our last meeting, I have it noted right here that you need a natural science class." WHAT?!?! I know that next year HAS to be better. This year has been a bust.

Opportunity Cost

As everyone knows, everything in life has an opportunity cost. Every decision that is made has a consequence whether good or bad. People always tell me, "I don't know how you go to school and have a family, it seems like it would be tough." I always smiled and said, yeah it's tough, but I never told them what I chose to give up in order to achieve that goal.

I had a revelation tonight as well as a big slap in the face. For those of you who saw my facebook status, I have chosen to remove myself from Facebook for a while and I thought you should know why. Declan came home from school today with 4 circles this week on his calendar. I know most of you have no idea what that means, but each circle represents how many times he was disciplined that day. He had one on Monday, one on Tuesday, and two today. As per our usual conversation, I ask him what happened and as he is explaining this stuff to me I realize that all of it is completely preventable.

I started praying and trying to think of reasons why he would be getting in trouble so much and then I feel like God lifted a curtain and revealed it to me. The majority of the attention he gets from us is negative attention. If he's doing what he's supposed to be doing and everything's going well, he rarely hears from us but as soon as something bad happens, we immediately take action. The more I stepped back, the more I became disgusted with myself. All I have ever wanted since I was a little girl is to be married and be a mommy. Now that I have it, I seem to take it all for granted.

Before we had internet, Declan was newborn until he was about 3, I spent every minute with him and my family. As soon as we got internet I noticed myself justifying my time that I spend on the computer. I was either looking for jobs, editing photos, catching up on homework, etc. As a baby Declan was sooooo unbelievably good. He rarely made a peep. Looking back now, I realized that the bad behavior started occuring more frequently after we got internet. I started spending more time on the computer than I was spending with my children and that is not acceptable.

So, that is the reason I am withdrawing myself from Facebook for a while. I need to reprioritize my life and make sure that I am being the best possible parent that God has made me to be. I want my kids to grow up knowing that they are unconditionally loved, that they are important enough for me to put everything else aside and spend time with them, and that above all else we will always be here for them.

Going well

Well, the first week of kindergarten was successful. We did not get any notes sent home and Declan seems to really be enjoying himself and making new friends. He was going to be brave and buy lunch at school on Friday and then Thursday night changed his mind and said he couldn't remember his pin number and that I should just pack his lunch. He'll get there, it's a little scary at first.

Alaina has felt a little left out with all the talk of Declan going to kindergarten and then with his birthday coming up. I've been trying to make sure she's been getting enough attention. The other day I told her that I wanted to take some pictures of her and she said "with Declan?" and when I told her I just wanted some really pretty ones of her by herself, she got a HUGE smile on her face. I'm thankful that she's pretty easy to please as long as she feels like she's not being left out.

I only have 5 more weeks left of school! This includes: 6 quizzes, 3 tests, 1 research paper, 1 presentation, and LOTS of reading. I can't wait! It's coming up so quickly!!! Thank you to all who have helped us throughout our entire schooling career and with watching our kids, offering transportation, and just being there when we need to talk. We are so grateful to have such great friends (and family).

well the day has come

Tonight it's starting a new routine of earlier bed times, backpacks being packed, clothes laid out, and lunches ready. Tomorrow is Declan's first day of Kindergarten and I couldn't be more excited for him. He's so curious and inquisitive (I hope he always remains that way) and eager to make new friends! I can't wait to see him when he gets home from school tomorrow. I love him, he's my baby, but it's exciting to start this next chapter!