Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Everything happens exactly as intended!

Reflecting on my married life, I often wonder if we got married too young. I remember

telling one of Pat’s friends the week he proposed, “If he’s planning on proposing, tell him

to forget it, I’m going to say no”. Pat and I met when we were 18, got engaged at 19,

and I was 21 when we got married. We had our first baby when I was 22 and our second

when I was 24. I love Pat with all my heart and sometimes we talk about how everything

came about and wonder if we still would have gotten married, or even stayed together for

that matter if we hadn’t felt forced to get married so young. We have been married for

almost 9 years now and believe me, we have definitely had our struggles. Often times

people tell us we “work well together” or we make a great team. Pat says he doesn’t like

that phrase or that saying, but personally I love when people tell us that. I feel like we

know each other better now than we did 12 years ago and we’ve grown closer through

the struggles that we’ve had. Being married is hard and it takes a lot of work, dedication,

and sacrifice. You ever heard of the 7 year itch? Yeah, that’s totally accurate. We had

been together for 7 years when we started having some serious problems. It was right

after Alaina was born. I felt trapped because I was at home all the time, babysitting

and being with my kids, which I am grateful I was able to do, while Pat was able to be

out working and talking to other adults and going to school. We started having major

problems, some that people know about and some that people don’t. Through that time

it was rough, I wasn’t sure we were going to make it. I have learned so much about love,

forgiveness, mercy, grace, sacrifice, and gratitude just from being married. I realize now

that even though I wasn’t sure if we got married too young, God was always there by our

side. He got us through the difficult times, taught us how to love each other more than

we ever imagined we could, and we have matured, forgiven, loved, and had more fun

together than we could have hoped for. I can’t imagine my life without Pat. He is such a

great father, a fabulous husband, friend, and coach. I am so happy he chose me and look

forward to spending the rest of our lives learning, loving, growing, and enjoying our time

together. I love you Pat, more than you could ever imagine.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

I know I can't be the only one

Have any of you ever felt like you're going through something that will never end?  You just keep thinking, it can't last much longer because you feel like you've been going through it forever.  Pat and I have had many hard times throughout our marriage whether it was financially, spiritually, relationally, etc.  We know what it's like to go through rough patches and it always seems like it will last forever when you're going through it.  Once it's over though and you look back on it you wonder what you were freaking out about because it either doesn't seem that bad after you've made it through or it wasn't didn't last as long as you thought it did.  I know we can't be the only ones like this.

It started a year ago, in October of 2012.  We were doing well for ourselves, God had blessed us.  We were both working great jobs, we were able to finally start saving money for the things we've wanted since we had gotten married.  We had started building a house and I was so excited about my dream of having our own home was finally going to happen.  At the end of October, Pat lost his job with Monsanto.  We were still blessed as he was able to stay home with Alaina and spend more time with her, he learned how to cook, he was keeping up with the housework and doing everything he could at home while I was working hours and hours of overtime at work.  We were still optimistic.  One month led into the next and the next and the next.  FInally we got to the point where our savings was drained and he had been searching for a job for 6 months.  Nothing changed, we were still going to church, praying, serving, trusting in God's plan for our lives.  We got the news that we were not going to be able to get the home that we had built, and I was heartbroken, devistated.  I had to change my perspective and realize we are in fact still blessed.  We have a happy, healthy family, a nice house within our means, and God is still taking care of us even if we can't see it.

Finally after 6 months of searching, he finally landed a job.  He's been with Ascension since March of this year and we were so excited for him to start working again.  Somehow though, things haven't seemed to turn around.  For an entire year it seems like we've been strapped, stressed, and overwhelmed.  What's changed?  Nothing!  We apparently changed our perspective at some point in time and forgot to count our blessings and look at the things we should be grateful for.

For the remainder of the year, I am going to choose to focus on the positive.  To be grateful for the things we have instead of wishing or wanting the things we don't have.  In Novemeber I'm going to do the things I'm thankful for each day up until Thanksgiving.

Jeremiah 29:10-14  - I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.
“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.  “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.  “I’ll turn things around for you..."