ADVICE FROM PARENTS TO DAUGHTER
First I want to start by saying Dad and I love you more than you will ever know. We are so very proud of you and everything you set to accomplish. You work so hard at everything you do. We admire how much you can keep good grades while also working hard at soccer and having a social life. Ever since you were a baby you light up a room and your personality demands attention. You’re always welcoming to new people and you make new friends easily. We love how adventurous you are. Plain and simple, you make life more fun!
God placed it on my heart to write you and be candid and honest. Dad and I both reviewed this as we were once young and in relationships. It’s our job to protect you as much as we can while still allowing you to have your own experiences and life lessons. We came up with a list of things to consider in a relationship whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship. What you do with the information is 100% up to you.
Advice from your Parents:
1. Honor God – You are a child of God and you are precious. Your body is a temple and was meant to be God’s house so treat it with care.
2. Guard your heart – feelings lie. Know the difference between love and lust, attraction and affection. Protect your heart.
3. Communication is key – It’s so important to talk about things. Don’t keep secrets from one another. Whatever you are feeling, don’t be afraid to share it. Deep conversations produce intimacy & ultimately draw you closer together. Expectations can be the biggest disappointment in a relationship so make sure you discuss and are on the same page regarding what you want in the relationship.
4. You are enough – You don’t need to change anything about who you are to “make” someone love you. Have confidence in yourself, it’s something that attracts people to you. Don’t be in a rush to grow up. If someone else doesn’t see your worth then they aren’t worth your time.
5. You get what you give – If you want to be treated respectfully then you need to treat others with respect. Be kind and generous. Offer compliments and genuine appreciation. Treat others the way you want to be treated and if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything.
6. Don’t lose who you are to be a couple – Having a relationship is exciting and fun and while you’re getting to know each other it’s easy to get sucked in and want to spend all of your time with that person but don’t lose who you are. Keep hanging out with friends, playing soccer, enjoying your hobbies, etc. Having a well-balanced relationship where you spend time apart either alone or with your friends is healthy and good.
7. Your body is yours – Don’t ever let someone pressure you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with. Abstinence is the best policy and it’s how God designed us. With physically showing love comes more emotional attachments and more issues so be responsible. Don’t ever feel like you need to give in to keep someone, if they pressure you, it’s time to cut ties.
8. Be a good listener – this goes for any relationship. Listen intently and pay attention to how they treat others. If they’re rude, unkind, disrespectful to others then you can expect they will treat you the same. People often put on their “best self” when a new relationship starts and slowly reveal who they really are. If he’s not good and loving towards his mom, it’s a warning. Don’t assume you know what he really means when he tells you something. Guys are simple, generally what they say is what they mean.
9. Only stay in a relationship for the right reasons – Don’t stay in a relationship because it gets comfortable and would be “too hard” to leave. If you have mutual friends, it’s fine and things will work themselves out. Don’t stay with someone because you don’t want to be lonely or because you feel pressured.
10. Know what you want – If you know what you want in a relationship or in a guy then you’ll be more likely to notice when he isn’t what you want/need. You need to know who you are before you can love someone else or expect them to love you.
11. Heartbreak – If/when you get your heart broken, it sucks. Allow yourself to be sad/mad and cry. Don’t stay there though. Think about what you’ve learned about yourself and what you really want and move on. Take time for yourself before jumping into a new relationship.
12. Don’t chase – Ever heard of playing hard to get? When you chase something/someone it runs away. If you chase a guy or don’t give him room to breathe he may get scared and run. Be content with being alone.
13. Test/Ultimatums – Don’t do this! If you “test” someone or give them an ultimatum it generally causes them to feel pressured and they typically want nothing to do with it then. Be patient, kind, don’t rush into anything. Make sure both of you are good with where your relationship is at.
14. Social Media/Electronics – don’t text/snap/etc anything that you wouldn’t be okay saying to someone’s face. Remember that some parents check their kids’ phones so if you don’t want a parent to see what you’re texting/snapping, don’t do it.
Remember dad and I are always here for you and if you ever need to talk we’re happy to listen. We love you dearly.
Love,
Mom and Dad
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