As a parent have you ever had those moments where you're just like "what were you thinking?", "I know I taught you better than that", "I'm so embarrassed that you did this"? I have, well I've had several of those moments having been a parent of 18 years. It started when the kids were super young. Two things I remember right off the bat that were embarrassing then but funny now. When Declan was little I took him with me to shop for new bras. He proceeded to walk through and grab all of the padded bras proclaiming "mommy I like these boobies". Alaina, when she was potty training had to see every bathroom of every place we went to. You know how there is a little gap between the door and the stall lock closure wall thingy? Yeah she used to peek in and say "mommy we know her". I just wanted to crawl under the floor I was so embarrassed. As the kids got older there were many more instances that made me question my parenting abilities and had me thinking maybe I was too young to know what I was doing raising two small kids.
But then there are other moments that make you beam with pride as a parent and you realize the kids really have been listening and you are doing a good job raising them. There was one time in the store at the check-out there was a frazzled mom in front of us with one little girl in the cart (probably 2 years old if I had to guess) another next to the cart asking tons of questions (4 if I had to guess) and a baby crying that this poor woman was trying to console. She was frazzled, the baby was screaming and the cashier rang her out, she paid and the cashier just left all the bags on the counter at the end of the checkout. I could tell this lady was at her wits end and about to just cry. I asked Alaina to help the woman put the bags into the cart and we were finished checking out by that time so we helped the lady to her car. Alaina pushed the cart and I held the other little girl's hand so the mom could just focus on the baby. We have always told our kids to choose their friends wisely (1 Corinthians 15:33) and that if their friends are doing something bad and our kids are with them and they all get caught, they're just as guilty even if they aren't participating (guilty by association). Our kids have told us on several occasions they don't even like going to the bathroom at school because everyone is in there vaping. I'm not naive to think that teenagers aren't going to experiment or try to push the boundaries, it's almost expected. Alaina has told me on several occasions that friends and such have done edibles or tried alcohol, etc. Declan is much more tight lipped ;)
Recently I had one of those moments that I am just so proud as a parent. Alaina was invited to a party, she went, she was having a good time and was supposed to sleep over. At about 11pm she texted me asking if I was still awake and asked if I could come get her. She picked up an early shift for the next day so I thought she just wanted to come home and get a good night's sleep before work. When I picked her up I asked her why she wanted me to come get her (for reference she's NEVER left a sleepover early). She said that the girls were doing things that she didn't want to be a part of and she just wanted to come home. She apologized for asking me to come get her so late and I told her how proud of her I was. I don't care if it's 2am or 4am or whatever, I will always come get you if you're uncomfortable or feel unsafe. I always thought that Alaina would be my party animal and try things because it looks fun, but in this moment I realized how mature she really is for her age, that she's been listening to Pat and I all these years, and that the way we parent is working for our kids. I don't write this to brag because as before, I'm sure there will be more times where I will be like "What were you thinking" but for today and for now, I'm super proud of our girl.
On the other hand, I had my first tough phone call to make as a parent. I called my mom to ask her what I should do because I know the girl's parents where the girls were staying the night and I knew that this was not acceptable behavior for their kids. My mom said "if the shoe was on the other foot you would want to know, you have to tell her parents". I DID NOT WANT TO DO THAT! I was really hoping my mom would just be like, well Alaina did the right thing, no harm, no foul. I had to put on my big girl pants and make a phone call. I do not like confrontation at all but my mom was right. If the roles were reversed I'd 100% want to know. I made the phone call and it went so much better than I had figured it would. The other parent was so apologetic for having Alaina in this situation. As a parent myself I empathized and told her no need to apologize, we're all trying to do this parenting thing best we can. Overall it was a good outcome and I'm glad I made the call but man I did not want to. One, I didn't want to betray Alaina's trust in telling me what was going on and two, I didn't want any of the other girls to retaliate against Alaina. The parent said that she would not mention that it was told to her but she found evidence since the party hadn't been cleaned up yet. Parenting is hard and the more people we have to love our kids and share in the journey with us the better. I am grateful that I already knew this person's parents as I think that made it a little easier but gosh it's difficult.
