First of all Happy Thanksgiving to you all! It's been a while since I've written a blog post and on my way home from spending time with my family I was thinking. I started thinking about something I had told my husband on the phone and then it led me to remember this past week's message at church.
So, I call my husband on my way home from my family's Thanksgiving. Side note, typically we do holiday gatherings together but this year was a unique situation that I'm not going to get into. I was telling him about our family and I mentioned to him "I forgot to tell you, the other day while at QT some guy called me babe and it caught me off guard and then tonight at dinner, my uncle's brother in law told me that I'm a very pretty girl." It was weird that in the last week I've encoutered strangers say something like this to me twice. I've always struggled with believing that I'm beautiful or pretty or whatever. Since I've been a Christian, I've tried to see myself through God's eyes. Unfortunately I'm human and honestly I think Pat is the only person that's told me I'm pretty or beautiful besides my grandpa. I've always found it hard to believe Pat when he tells me I'm pretty or that I look nice. I've assumed he's just saying it out of duty or because he thinks it will make me feel good. Then tonight, it hit me. The reason I don't believe him is because I put my views and thoughts of myself on him and assume he feels the same way. Especially after having two kids and a desk job…it does some things to your body. It's not fair to him that I don't believe him when he tells me this and why do I find it flattering or easier to believe when a stranger says it?!?! The more I thought about it the more I realized that when I don't believe Pat is being genuine and telling me the truth it's like I'm calling him a liar every time he says that. It creates a little disconnect every time. This is by no means fair to him at all. This brought me to think of our church message last week.
The pastor was talking about putting others before ourselves and how that creates joy in our lives. Joy is something we choose where happiness is caused by our circumstances. I agree with this 100%. He went on to talk about pride and not forgetting where we came from. This message has really stuck with me this week as this is something I struggle with daily. I honestly love to help people and I love doing things for other people, however, people that really truly know me know that I love to be right. This is something I have to be very conscious about when discussing things, especially with Pat. I hate that I have this quality and I'm always trying to get better about not always having to be right and I would love to say that I'm getting better but honestly, I'm not sure that is true. Nine times out of ten, Pat will be the first one to say sorry. He's the one that smiles and let me go on and on about why I'm right. Even though he lets me go on and on, sometimes it drives me crazy because I know he doesn't believe that I'm right even though I know I am. Oh and apparently I'm a control freak, too. Can you tell?
So to tie everything together, I was thinking about my views about myself and how I'm right and Pat shouldn't think that I'm beautiful. After all my body doesn't look anything like it did when we started dating 13 years ago and I certainly am not as energetic as I used to be. Through it all though, I need to remind myself that he loves me for more than just my outward appearance. Even if I don't believe I'm beautiful, I need to believe him when he says I am. I need to trust that he's being genuine and sincere and honest. I'm not in control and I can't be "right" about something that's his opinion. So, for all you ladies out there that feel less than beautiful but have a loving husband that tells you that you are, believe him. Make sure you accept the compliment and let him know that you appreciate him, his honestly, and his sincerity. It will change your life and your marriage and possibly even the way you see yourself!
Proverbs 31:10-31 (msg)
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it…
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
bt you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the fear-of-God.
