Just One Degree Off

You know how everyone says "it isn't rocket science" when there is something that needs to be addressed?  Did you know that the trajectory has to be 100% accurate whenever rockets are launched? Even one degree off can make them thousands of miles off by the time they reach what should have been their destination.  

Have you ever felt like you had a vision of something you thought was going to happen, maybe a goal, a future, an event, whatever it may be and one small decision/choice started leading you in a direction you never intended to go?  It can be devastating and Hinds sight is always 20/20 to look back and see that you're nowhere near where you intended to be.  That wasn't the direction you were going, the plan that you had made, the idea you had in your mind of what it would be like whenever you arrived.  Each decision we make leads us to where we are today.  One small choice can alter things a little now but drastically down the road.

Funny story (now).  Thursday I decided to leave work a little early because Alaina had a game at Missouri Valley and I saw it wasn't super far and I could easily do it in an afternoon.  It was a beautiful day, my work was all caught up and I was excited.  This game wasn't going to be streamed so I was going to go in-person to watch.  I left work and didn't even stop by home to change, just got right on the road.  I got to my destination with 15 minutes to spare.  I drove around looking for the field and couldn't find it anywhere so I pulled up Life360 to see where she was and I was just going to use that to figure out where I needed to go from where I was.  Imagine my surprise when I pulled it up and realized I was still an HOUR and a HALF away from her.  WHAT?!?!  I had already driven an hour an a half to get to where I was and I definitely couldn't make it in time to see her play now.  What I thought was a beautiful day ended up being nothing like I had imagined.  I was so upset because now, am I not only in the wrong place, I can't even pull it up to watch the game at all.  I found a gas station, filled up the car, went to the restroom and headed back home.  

An hour an a half later I got back to Wentzville and was like, it's a nice day, I'm just going to go for a little walk at the park near my house.  I get 3/4 of the way there and realize the road is closed, had to take two detours to get back to the highway and then back to my house.  Finally I just ended up coming home and calling it a day.  

One choice, one drive, wrong destination entirely.  For those closest to me, you know that this season has had its fair share of struggles.  I just wanted a little time in nature, peaceful, beautiful day to walk and collect my thoughts after a 4 hour drive.  Isn't that sometimes how our life is though?  We have a goal or an idea of what our future is going to look like and then little by little, one small decision after another and before we know it we are completely off course.  We no longer recognize where we are or who we are.  Sometimes that's when panic sets in.  Not knowing where you are makes it more difficult to figure out where you need/want to be going.  Every decision affects the next and if we're not careful it leads us to a place where we don't want to be, keeps us longer than we wanted to stay, and forces us into a life we never intended.  Sometimes we think "oh it's no big deal", "i'll just make this one choice it won't affect anything else", "no one cares what I do anyway".  Before we know it we've compromised who we are, our character, our integrity and the person we want to be. 

Thankfully, as a Christian, we know that we're never too far gone.  God will pursue us and bring us back into what he's called us to.  He knows our whole story from beginning to end.  So even when we feel like we've gotten so far off course we don't know how to get back, he always knows the way.  His timing is always perfect, and he always knows the best way to get our attention.  He is so good, gracious, and forgiving.  He will meet us where we are and get us back to where we need to be.  There may be some bumpy spots, some things along the way that need to be taken care of, some maintenance along the way but he loves us too much to leave us in our mess, even when we created it ourselves.

And for anyone that didn't know, Missouri Valley College and Missouri Valley University are definitely different and in different cities 🙈

 A Little Life Update

This has been a season of change in the Mahoney household.  Both kids graduated in May, Declan from State Tech for Welding and Alaina from High School.  Declan worked for a company from July through the end of September but realized it wasn't what he was wanting to do long-term.  He's looking to get more welding experience in the area he wants to eventually be in to work on/modify cars.  Alaina has started her next chapter at MidAmerica Nazarene University in Kansas.  It's been changes, lessons, tears, joys, and everything in between for all of us since May of this year.  

Parenting in this season of life looks so different.  Both kids are now legally adults with Declan being 21 and Alaina almost 19, I'm still learning how to step back and allow them space to figure things out.  I'm struggling and it's difficult to not be as close to them as I've been their whole lives.  It's tough to learn that they no longer need us as much or in the same ways as they used to.  I don't like not being able to see them daily or hear about their day.  I don't know what's going on in their lives as much or get to know their friends.  There is so much more praying, finding new hobbies, learning new things just to fill the time.  It's always an adjustment period going from one stage to the next of parenting.  I remember our pastor talking about the different stages of parenting one time when our kiddos were little and I had never thought of it the way he explained it.  It made so much sense: 

Phase 1: The Commander - lots of telling them what to do, where to go, what to eat, what to wear, discipline, etc.

Phase 2: The Coach - giving a little more freedom while still assisting with choices and providing advice and guidance.

Phase 3: The Counselor - you're no longer the main influence but you're there to help them make good choices, become more independent, think of consequences, etc.

Phase 4: The Consultant - this one can often be the most difficult.  This requires us to step back and let them know we are here and available if they need us but if you've done the first three phases well, this phase just takes a lot of praying, cheering on, and encouragement.

We have officially hit phase 4 at the end of July and it's been SO DIFFICULT.  All I've ever wanted since I was little was to be a wife and a mother.  After Pat and I got married we both wanted kids and a family and I was grateful to get pregnant almost immediately.  I have loved every stage of parenting but the empty(ish) nest and phase 4 has definitely been my least favorite :(  I love our kids more than anything in this world and letting them go and live their lives makes me sad but happy all at the same time.  Watching them live out their dreams and become successful adults is exciting but a part of me is broken hearted knowing that things will never been the same again.  We won't all live under the same roof or have nightly meals.  I just hope and pray that they will choose to come visit and  remember their childhood as fondly as we do.  

I am going to choose to be grateful for the things we've experienced and walked through as well as what God has planned for us in the next phases and stages of life.  My greatest joy and accomplishment as a person will always remain being a wife and a mom 💖💖

Growing Up and Moving On

Time is a funny thing isn’t it? There are times you think back about something and feel like it was SO
LONG ago but then other times it feels like that same thing was just a couple of years ago. Once I had
children time seems to move in warp speed, well not those first 5 years or so. Those are tough and
exhausting but so very rewarding.
With summer quickly approaching I wanted to take a minute to reflect as well as look forward. I
remember the summer between my Junior and Senior year of high school. It was one of the best
summers ever. I had no real responsibilities yet (I mean I had a job and things but not tons of bills or too
many things expected of me). My parents were always great about letting my brother and I just be kids
and enjoy the time we could before we had to be adults and take on responsibilities and things. We try
to do that with our kids. Yes, it’s important to teach them how to adult but they are also still kids and
should get to enjoy that for as long as possible. Carefree days, sleeping in until noon, going to the pool,
six flags, taking vacation, etc. Declan just finished his first year of college (I still can’t believe it) and will be 20 in just a few months. Alaina will be entering her Senior year of high school (I can’t believe that either). While part of me is sad that they’re growing up I am also so very excited and blessed to watch them really settle in to who they are and who they’re becoming. Watching them pursue their dreams is such a joy.
People always complain about the teenager stage and yes, it can be exhausting with all of the eye rolls,
dirty dishes, moodiness, etc. I love it though! Our kids are great kids and we haven’t had a lot of the
teenage drama issues that I was worried about, but Pat and I made it a point early on to talk to our
children frequently and at every stage about things they would face later in life. We have done our best
to prepare them, keep that openness for conversations, allowed them to fail and helped them back up.
Don’t get me wrong, we are NOT perfect parents by any means but we are grateful parents and I love
the relationships we have with our kids now. Declan chooses to come home frequently (it may just be
to do laundry and work on his car but I like to pretend it’s to see us) and Alaina spends time with us when she’s not with her friends or Brayden.
I know this next year is going to fly by and we’re going to have two graduating in 2026. I’m ready to
buckle up, enjoy the ride, take lots of pictures, and watch these kiddos conquer their dreams!

 Tonight I pray for the women who are hurting.  Maybe they plaster on a smile but deep down they feel unnoticed, unworthy, unloved, overwhelmed, misunderstood, stressed out, etc but know that I am praying for you.  I’ve been there and I’m sure I’ll be there again in that valley.  It’s a valley that can grow deeper by the minute especially if you feel like you’re suffering alone.  You get so far down you feel like there is no way you’ll ever get out.  I’ve listened to all the lies before: you’re the only one that deals with this, no one can know or they’ll judge you, you can do this on your own, whatever the lie may be.  Please know that it’s just that, a lie.  We ALL struggle, doubt, suffer, feel misunderstood, neglected, unloved.  When we have others that are willing to come alongside us without judgment but in prayer, friendship, love, and understanding we grow.  There have been some very dark parts of my life that very few people know about.  I was ashamed, embarrassed, and didn’t want to have to answer the questions people would ask about my decisions.  I felt completely alone and withdrawn, lonely and desperate.  Those times, the times that were the darkest, loneliest, most vulnerable times of my life, that’s when I felt God the most.  He was the one that loved me, that helped me out of my pit of sadness and loneliness.  He reminded me that he had plans for me, that he loved me and made me for a purpose that only I could fulfill.  He gave me some incredible friends that never judged or gossiped about me or my situation but truly loved me and prayed for me.  I want to be that person for all of you.  Anyone that’s in that dark place when you feel you’re at rock bottom know that I’m praying for you, cheering you on, believing in better things for you.  It’s difficult to go through the storms of life but it’s often what changes us the most.  Don’t give up, keep moving forward, keep pushing, keep seeking, and believing.  Better days are coming and it’s always darkest before dawn.  I love you and you matter!

 GRATITUDE

That's all I have today.  You know, as parents we're always trying to instill things in our kiddos, morals, values, faith, things that truly build their character.  I think sometimes when we step back as they get older (even times when they're younger) we can learn so much from them.  Pat and I have always been brutally honest with our kids.  We don't hide our struggles, failures, mistakes.  We let them know that we're human too, we still mess up, we still have emotions and faults.  It's how we work together to overcome them that matters.  I'm not sure how many people are aware but at the end of March Pat and I both lost our jobs.  My company was generous with a 60 day paid notice and severance, his was just immediate.  As scary and as devastating as it was we knew that our kids were watching how we were going to respond.  I know so many families go through this and it's scary and difficult but this is when our faith is generally strengthened the most.  Through that we decided to start going back to church instead of just watching online.  We are still new and getting plugged in to a new church but we both have felt refreshed and excited about the change.  Alaina has willingly been going with us on Sundays which says a lot for a 16 year old to willingly get up on her day off and go to church 😊. We started listening to praise and worship music again, listening to sermons throughout the week, etc to try to stay encouraged.  Thankfully Pat found a job and has already started which was a TRUE blessing.  I had interviewed with a company several times, was extremely hopeful only to be told they went with someone else and I was back to square one.  

Needless to say I was a little disheartened.  I'm still forcing myself to get up and look for jobs as if it's my full-time job.  Today I just wasn't feeling it.  I wanted to stay in bed and hide and just wallow.  I was texting Alaina while she was at lunch and to say I am proud to be her mom would be an understatement.  There have been so many times over this past year that each of us have been going through something and the others are there for encouragement.  I always dreaded the teenage years but I have to say, they've been some of my favorite years.  Declan will randomly text Pat and I and thank us for encouraging him, helping him, pushing him a little when he needed it to do things scared.  But today, Alaina sent me some texts and I was blown away at how mature and encouraging she is.  I am blessed beyond measure and grateful for the chance to parent them.  I'm so sad that they'll be leaving the "nest" soon but I'm so excited to see where they end up in life.  They're both going to do great things!

Sometimes we teach our kids and sometimes they teach us and both are okay and needed 💗

Ever have a plan and things don't go according to it?  That has been the course for this year for our family.  I decided that this year I was going to keep a "blessing jar" which basically has one strip of paper for every week of the year.  I've forced myself to think of at least one good thing that we're grateful for every week.  If you've read my previous blog posts you'd know it's not been the easiest task but yet we're striving forward.  

I am beyond grateful that I started walking with Jesus when I was 18.  It's not always been easy or the "popular/fun" thing to do but I'm thankful that I also have friends that are Jesus followers.  They're encouraging, pray for us, are standing with us through the highs and lows of life.  One of the things I am most grateful for is that God gives us peace beyond our understanding (Philippians 4:7).  Throughout all of our circumstances and everything that's happened through our marriage and personal lives, I've always found comfort and peace that cannot be explained to others.  Right now, Pat and I are both without a job but I am thankful that God promises to work together all things for good for those that believe (Romans 8:28).  Change is almost always scary but it it always brings about growth.  We don't have to fear change because God doesn't give us a spirit of fear.  In fact the Bible tells us to "fear not" 365 times in the Bible.  That is one for every day of the year and I don't believe that is a coincidence.  Now that our kids are older and understand what is happening, I pray that their faith is strengthened and they never have to question that God always takes care of us.  Even if it's not exactly how we thought or expected, his ways are always better than ours.  Sometimes he has to give us a little nudge to get us out of our comfort zone in order for us to grow into what he has planned for us. This song (actually a lot of hers) help me to not focus on our circumstances but on God and what he's done before and he's the same yesterday, today and forever.  

Lauren Daigle

This same thing happened to Pat and I when the kids were really little.  God provided then and we're trusting and have faith that He will do it again.

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Matthew 6:26-27 ESV)

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34)

You know sometimes in the midst of chaos you can be so incredibly grateful and have absolute peace?  In the midst of what is seeming to be a terrible start to our 2024, I was so happy to take Alaina to her first ever concert on Tuesday night.  For those that don't know I have been told that I'm being laid off as of 5/16/24.  Even though there are plenty of jobs posted at the moment, unless you know someone it's sometimes difficult to even get your resume looked at let alone get an interview.  In the chaos and stress and uncertainty I have full peace.  God already knows the outcome, he already knew this was coming and hew as not surprised by it like I was.  It's in his hands, his timing, and his will.  We grow the most when we're pushed out of our comfort zone and embrace change.

I am so thankful that back in September of last year I got tickets for this concert for Alaina's 16th birthday.  It was a fun night with just her even though I was nervous about driving downtown by myself, (I really only go downtown with Pat) and having to back into a spot, and being out late, I was excited to get that one on one time with her.  Watching her sing her heart out, have a great time, and just spending quality time together filled my cup.  I am grateful that even though we didn't know what was coming we had already planned and prepared for this fun night.  What made the night even sweeter was the many many times she thanked me for bringing her and going with her 💜.

The day before that, Pat and I got a text from Declan: 

"I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you both for helping me achieve my future dream job.  I feel like I don't say it enough and I'm not sure how to say it but I love both of you guys for helping me through it all"

😭 Teenagers sometimes get a bad rap and I think it's such an awkward stage to be between being a kid and not yet an adult.  There are definitely highs and lows but as a friend once told me "when things are lovely, they're really lovely". When things aren't so lovely you hold onto the lovely times like the quality 1:1 time or the sweet texts, or the random hugs, and random gifts they bring home.  I will say that Pat and I have been so extremely fortunate to have great kids and it has made the teenage years (so far) mainly a breeze.  I love the people they're growing up to be and I will encourage them to follow the path that God has for them.  I promise to love, guide, and help them as long as they'll let me and I'll treasure all the lovely times in between, stopping and smelling the roses every chance I get.  

Thank you GOD for blessing me!